I have never had a girlfriend. I have never experienced how to court a lady that I like. If you would learn my story, you might get depressed. You see, I did not chose to be single. There were a couple of times that I asked a girl out--asked if I could court her. There was a time that I hung out too much at a girl's place just to let her know that I like her (though I did not tell her outright that I would court her). All in all, I think I did what I needed to do as a guy that liked someone, especially when I've made up my mind with regards to courting a girl.
This made me evaluate and see what has been happening. Why have I been failing at this area in my life. I really don't know. Maybe it my fashion sense. Maybe it's my appearance. Maybe it's my personality. I don't know. But there's someone that I would like to acknowledge why I have been experiencing this apparent failure--God.
Looking back, I realized that most of the women that I was considering started out single and available but suddenly, while I was in the process of considering them or maybe praying for them, there would be a guy that would start courting them. There was one instance that a couple brought to me and a lady friend an idea that if we hit a certain age, and if we are still single and available, why not consider each other for marriage. While this got me thinking about the possibility of me and my lady friend, out of nowhere, there came a man from her early years and began courting her. There was also a time when I was starting to get close to a lady friend from church, again, out of nowhere, someone from her past contacted her and began courting her. Looking at in now, I am amazed at how I did not see it then--that whenever I began to like someone or considered someone, this someone would have a guy courting her.
I think this is God. I think God is protecting me and also protecting my lady friends from me. I know that I am not mature enough to handle a relationship. Also, I think God is also preparing the best for me--for which He would get the most glory. All in all, I thank God that He is fully involved in my life--that He answers the prayer that I ask of Him every time that I am starting to like someone: that if this is not from You, shut the door, Lord. And He has been shutting doors ever since.
